What does it take to succeed? What is success anyway? Who measures it and how do you know when you have achieved it? And does it matter anyway?
What does it mean to be the best version of myself and what do I need to believe to enable this to become a reality for me?
These are all questions I have asked myself in various ways in the last few years.
I have read many books- my favourite title being “I could do anything I want- if only I knew what it was!” by Barbara Sher (a bright banana coloured book that I just couldn’t walk past!)
I have worked through the exercises, done the work, tried to answer the “thought provoking” questions and still there is no answer.
I have done leadership courses and personal development workshops. Webinars, ebooks …… you get the idea.
I have finally come to one conclusion.
Without really understanding my underlying beliefs and thoughts, and what the blockers are for me, then I will not be able to come to any conclusions about my “purpose” in life. I have tried- believe me! But if it was going to be easy, I would have done it all alone by now. i surrender- my self analysis has not yielded great results!
So I have sought out a “trusted person” whose skills and opinion i value (very important when you think you know all the answers), and is prepared to shine the glare of the mirror on me. She does not let me off lightly, and peels away the layers, one tough layer at a time. She shines a light on me, when I would prefer to stay in the dark. It takes bravery. And it feels different.
I am currently exploring “attachment theory”, which is basically that what happened to us in the very formative years of our life (yes I mean from birth to 5 or 6, before we even remember things), can effect us for the rest of our life. (Read “Wired for Love” by Stan Tatkin) The attachments we form with our mother or primary carer influence how we attach to others for the rest of our life. A confronting thought given that I am a mother and remember the fumblings and mumblings that I went through as a new mum. On exploring this theory, I now reflect on what I may have inflicted on my own children, and acknowledge that I (and my parents and their parents) did the best I could with what I had and must make peace with this.
As the layers fall away, I gradually inch towards the kernel. And look forward with hope at last to unlocking the unfathomable truth that I have managed to protect with all my being.
I know I am not alone (for a long time, I thought I was). This is a journey many of us must go on. And you are not alone either.
Have you figured our what your underlying beliefs are? What are your limiting factors?
What would it take for you to be the very best version of yourself? What idea do you need to challenge today? Leave me a comment in the section below.
Be “all in”